Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 28

Walnut hopped and skipped as she handed over the new tea set.

"Wang Sheng Tang has launched a new 'Rock King Substitute Service,' would you like to...?"

Before she could finish speaking, a loud noise suddenly came from the direction of the Golden House.

Little Ruotuo swept a piece of roof tile away with its tail and shouted at the sky, "Morax! Where's the allowance you promised me?!"

Zhongli's hand trembled, and the teapot shattered again.

He silently took out the Rat Talisman, on which a note had been pasted at some point: [Setting Suggestion: A Frugal Version of the Emperor Who Loves to Make Money] - Signed with a chibi version of Zhang Chu's avatar.

Zhongli gently stroked the teacup in his hand, looking at Ying and Tartaglia who were having a great time playing mahjong by the dock, and then at the four Hilichurls who were teaching Qiqi how to play mahjong in the distance. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly: "Liyue like this... isn't so bad."

------

Meanwhile, on the four-person group's side...

With nothing else to do, the four of them took out their phones and played a game of Honor of Kings, and casually gave Ying a phone as well.

"Qingyu, what are you doing! You're Dian Wei! Go jungle!"

Er Kang sprayed water wildly from his mouth, splashing water droplets all over the phone screen.

He watched as Qingyu's Dian Wei crouched in the bushes of the confrontation lane—exchanging emoticons with the enemy Fang Yaojin.

Isn't Dian Wei a meat shield?

Qingyu's mask displayed a question mark emoji, and he randomly poked at the screen with his finger.

"I see his health bar is so thick..."

"He just has high health growth!"

Er Kang's loud cry caused all the pigeons in Liyue Harbor to take flight, and the phone case in his hand was even cracked from being squeezed.

"You've been picking mushrooms in the jungle for ten minutes straight!"

Ying cautiously poked the screen with her index finger: "Pay, Paimon... why is this little girl named 'Angela' chasing me and hitting me?"

Paimon, who was watching the battle, was frantically pacing around: "Traveler, run! She's the enemy!"

Before he could finish speaking, Ying's screen went gray.

Gu Qian's Thunder King mask was completely obscured on the screen: "This guy called 'Arthur' is amazing..."

They had no idea they had been going around in circles in the spring.

"Which button do I press to make it spin like him?"

Zhang Chu, the only one who seemed normal, glanced at his score: 1-12-3.

His mask popped up a pained expression: "Erkang, how about we surrender..."

"First Blood!"

"Double Kill!"

"Triple Kill!"

Accompanied by a rousing electronic sound, the enemy Diao Chan had already led the minion wave to charge onto the high ground.

Erkang's fingers left afterimages on the screen as his Han Xin managed to steal the second mid-lane tower. Looking back, he saw his four teammates having a tea party in the dragon pit.

"Defeat!"

Accompanied by the special effect of crystal exploding, Er Kang's mask cracked open with a "crack".

He grabbed his phone and slammed it to the ground with a powerful dunk.

"This is a scam!"

Er Kang's cloak moved without wind, and water elements created a berserk effect around him.

"Even a Glory King can't carry four Iron-ranked players!"

Qingyu curiously picked up the broken pieces of the phone: "This game is pretty fun, it's just that my teammates are too irritable..."

Ying weakly raised her hand: "Um... I think I used my ultimate skill as a healing skill..."

Gu Qian was still examining the equipment slots: "Thornmail... is it worn underneath?"

Watching from afar, Yelan silently took out her camera and saved the precious scene of "the internet-addicted teenager angrily smashing his phone" into the "Liyue Chronicles".

"I'm not playing anymore! With you four noobs around, I'm going to lose all my points!"

Er Kang angrily turned off his phone.

The trio sheepishly put away their phones—Qingyu's Windwalker mask still had a screenshot of his "0-21-3" score, Zhang Chu was secretly deleting his game history, and Gu Qian had hidden his phone behind the Thunder King mask.

The phone in Ying's hand "poof" turned into white smoke and disappeared. She was already used to the four's unscientific actions: "So what's next?"

"What?"

The four Hilichurls turned around in unison, their eyes flashing a dangerous red light beneath their masks.

They pulled out an improved version of the weapon from somewhere:

Qingyu's nunchucks have been transformed into a fire-breathing "Demacia Justice Edition";

Erkang's folding stool has been upgraded to a "Noxus Guillotine Special Edition" with water element enchantment;

Zhang Chu's thunder hammer was entwined with a "deus ex machina" special effect;

Gu Qian transformed directly into his "Thunder Gaba" form...

"Of course I'm going to vent my anger! ×4"

The four men strode headlong into the wilderness, raising a three-meter-high cloud of dust behind them.

Zhongli, who was drinking tea at Yujing Terrace, suddenly trembled, and the tragic scene of the Hilichurl tribe appeared in his teacup, which frightened him so much that he quickly poured out the tea.

On that day, the monsters and treasure hunters of Teyvat experienced their darkest hour:

The Qiuqiu mob had just raised its shield when Qingyu delivered a "fatal strike," splitting the man and shield in two.

The Ice Abyss Mage's shield was turned into shaved ice by Er Kang's "Great Slaughter".

The missiles guarded by the ruins had just been launched when Zhang Chu hit them back with a thunder hammer, like a baseball home run.

The worst off was the rock dragon lizard; Gu Qian sat directly on its back and started playing "Thunderous Crackle," shaking the earth's veins and causing cracks...

"Ouch-ouch—!"

"Mom, save me!"

"Surrender! We surrender!"

The monster's screams echoed through the sky, startling Xiao, who was eating almond tofu at Wangshu Ke, so much that he almost fell into the water.

An Abyss Apostle who happened to be passing by opened the portal, saw the four-person group beating up the Ancient Rock Dragon Lizard, and silently closed the portal.

As evening fell, the four returned to Liyue Harbor refreshed.

Behind them followed a group of treasure hunters bound together like dumplings with vines—each with bruised and battered faces, and white flags fluttering above their heads.

"That feels so good!"

Er Kang hoisted the folding stool onto his shoulder.

"It's so much more stress-relieving than playing Honor of Kings!"

Zhang Chu was numbering the prisoners: "Tomorrow we'll send them to Ningguang as hard laborers..."

Gu Qian added, "Meals and accommodation included..."

Qingyu piled up the spoils into a small mountain: "These masks can sell for a lot of Mora..."

As Ying and Paimon watched this scene, they silently added to the "Teyvat Adventure Guide": [Never play games with a four-person team—it'll result in deaths (monster deaths)!]

A new notice was quietly posted on the General Affairs Department's bulletin board in the distance:

[Safety in Liyue Harbor has been greatly improved]

[Monster Protection Area Under Construction]

Zhongli gazed at the four figures, arms around each other, silhouetted against the setting sun, and suddenly realized that there weren't enough teacups...

Chapter 29 Mona

"According to the divination, the extraterrestrials are nearby. Where are they?"

Mona's water basin shimmered with a deep blue light in the sunlight as she carefully parted the grass.

The proud astrologer looked somewhat disheveled—she had been traveling for a whole day in pursuit of the four legendary visitors from another world.

"Strange... the celestial signs are right here..."

As she looked down to examine the water-filled basin, a crisp "crack" sound suddenly came from the ground beneath her feet.

"Huh? Waaaaaahh ...

The carefully concealed turf collapsed, and Mona's scream echoed through the pit.

When she tumbled awkwardly onto the soft haystack, the metal stars on her hat jingled and rolled far away.

"Such an obvious trap?!"

Mona trembled as she straightened her astrology hat, staring incredulously at the pit wall—where the words "Welcome" were written in fluorescent paint, with a Hilichurl smiley face drawn next to it.

"Are you the one who's been following us all day?"

A cool, clear female voice came from above.

Mona looked up and saw the tip of Ying's sword reflecting a cold light. Paimon was wearing exaggerated sunglasses and holding up a wooden sign that read "Interrogation in Progress".

Even more terrifying were the four masked Hilichurls—Qingyu's nunchucks dripped with slime, Erkang's folding stool was covered in Abyss Mage hair, Zhang Chu's lightning hammer crackled with electricity, and Gu Qian was crushing a rock...

Mona's Adam's apple bobbed.

She could feel the palpable killing intent emanating from these people—it was not the kind of pressure that ordinary adventurers could accumulate, but rather the terrifying aura formed after slaughtering all the monsters in the entire region.

"I just want your help!"

Mona's voice suddenly rose eight octaves as she frantically waved the water tray.

"I'm not a bad person! Really! I just want to..."