Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 27

"Hmph! My automatic cooking machine can do that too..."

The Cloud-Borrowing Wind True Lord, feigning composure, dipped the bird's beak into the cup, and the next second—

"puff--!"

The crane's feathers all popped open, and three tail feathers detached directly from its body.

Gan Yu hurriedly handed over the sugar jar: "Master, you need to add more sugar the first time you drink it..."

Liu Yun borrowed the wind and opened the jar with a wing, but accidentally triggered a mechanism—the automatic coffee machine suddenly transformed and extended a mechanical arm to massage her shoulders.

The crane was so startled it almost flew away, but the massage was so comfortable that its tail feathers quietly grew back.

The four people in the distance turned their heads at the same time:

"Did someone mess with my coffee machine?"

Zhang Chu turned his head to look.

"Patent fees will be charged!"

Er Kang's eyes turned into Mora's.

"Even immortals can't escape the 'it's actually good' phenomenon..."

Qingyu muttered a complaint under his breath.

While enjoying the massage, True Lord Liuyun, who was borrowing the wind from the clouds, stubbornly said, "That's all! I'll improve the automatic cooking machine later..."

While secretly using her magical powers to examine the coffee machine's structure, the machine suddenly started playing "The Most Dazzling Ethnic Trend" and extended a mechanical arm, giving her a punch. Although it missed, it startled her so much that she tumbled and knocked over the tea table.

Gan Yu frantically tried to steady it, but the Qilin horn accidentally snagged the power cord—the entire coffee machine started tap-dancing, spraying coffee that drew a chibi-style portrait of the four people in the sky.

"..."

The entire Liyue Harbor fell silent.

Three seconds later, the feathered crown of the True Lord Liuyun Jiefeng slowly rose: "Sweet Rain".

"Yes, yes!"

“Go ask them…”

The crane's wingtips pointed at the group of four playing mahjong.

"Is this machine for sale?"

------

"So they gave you this automatic coffee machine in exchange for telling them stories about Gan Yu and Shen He from their childhood?"

The antlers of the Moon-Cut Sun True Lord gleamed in the sunlight as he curiously circled the metal construct, his hooves leaving several marks on the ground.

The True Lord of Flowing Water and Stacked Mountains carefully maintained a distance of three meters.

After all, the smug expression on Liuyun Jiefeng Zhenjun's face made it seem like he had already dug a pit for him.

"How could you possibly fathom the subtleties of this thing?"

Liu Yun Jie Feng Zhenjun held his head high, his feathered crown almost pointing to the sky.

She deliberately poked the button with the tip of her wing, and the coffee machine immediately started playing the tune of "Immortal's Leisurely Wandering" and sprayed out Dora coffee.

The True Lord of Moon-Shaping Sun brought his nose close to the discharge port: "Even this lump of iron can..."

A robotic arm suddenly shot out like lightning and precisely caught his antlers.

Before the immortals could react, a mechanical leg snapped out from the bottom of the coffee machine, executing a perfect roundhouse kick—

The True Lord of Shaving the Moon and Building the Sun transformed into a shooting star and flew towards the True Lord of Flowing Water and Stacking Mountains.

Just as the crane, who was drinking tea, looked up, it was poked in the rear by a deer antler. The two immortals rolled around and crashed into the waterfall of Mount Aozang, startling a nest of sparrows that were taking a bath.

"My Biluochun tea!"

The screams of the True Lord of Flowing Water and Die Mountain mingled with the roar of the waterfall.

"Hahahaha!"

Liu Yun Jie Feng Zhen Jun laughed so hard his wings fluttered, and the coffee machine cooperated by spraying out colorful ribbons.

"I told you not to underestimate otherworldly creations!"

Amidst the splashing water, True Lord Xiaoyue Zhuyang emerged from the water plants: "Liuyun! You're clearly doing this on purpose..."

Gan Yu rushed over in a panic, with the "user manual" given to her by Zhang Chu still hanging on the unicorn horn.

"You did not use safe mode..."

Before I could finish speaking, the coffee machine suddenly went berserk.

Eight robotic arms unfolded simultaneously and began performing the "Rainbow Flower" dance, while also pouring all the tea leaves treasured by the True Lord of Water and Mountain Die into the waterfall.

Even more amazing, it actually used steam to spray four large characters onto the rock wall: "Practice makes perfect."

"..."

The three immortals watched this scene in silence.

Ying's chopsticks froze in mid-air: "Did you hear any explosion...?"

"This is normal."

Erkang poured a bottle of Jueyun pepper into the pot.

“The machines that Zhang Chu modified are all a bit temperamental. Those things have an automatic evolution function, but don’t worry, there’s a limit to how big they can go.”

As if to confirm this statement, a mushroom cloud suddenly rose in the direction of Mount Okuzō.

With his charred feathers atop his sword, Lord Liuyun and Borrowing the Wind charged ahead, followed by the rampaging coffee machine—which had now evolved rocket boosters.

An exclamation mark popped up above Ying's head: "Are you sure nothing will happen?!"

She pointed towards Mount Aozang in the distance—the rampaging coffee machine was chasing the three True Lords all over the mountain, occasionally firing espresso bullets that turned the mountain walls into the color of lattes.

I had no idea why I could see such a distant and clear image.

Zhang Chu slowly pulled out a stack of blueprints: "Don't worry, I considered this situation when I designed it."

The drawing is densely marked with "[Safety Valve x3]" and "[Overheat Protection x2]", and most notably, "[Energy Limit]" is circled in red.

Qingyu leaned closer and pointed to a certain component: "Look at this backup plan—once it finishes chasing the immortal three times, the energy will..."

Before the words were finished, a loud "bang" came from afar, and the coffee machine suddenly stopped in mid-air, its mechanical arm drooping limply.

"See?"

Er Kang said proudly, "I even wrote a section of the Great Compassion Mantra in the core program, specifically to cure irritable machines."

As if to confirm his words, the coffee machine suddenly started playing: "Namo Ratna Trayaya..."

Eight robotic arms, posing as Guanyin, slowly descended in front of the True Lord of Cloud Retention and Wind, and even thoughtfully sprayed out a hot towel.

"Look, I also gave you a few small gifts."

Zhang Chu took out three mini robots from his four-dimensional backpack: one was holding a broom, one was carrying a paint bucket, and the last one had the "Fairy Power Equipment Safety Manual" on its head.

Gu Qian added, "The repair robots will help the True Lords rebuild all sorts of things..."

He scratched his head.

"It might have a bit of a cyberpunk style..."

From afar came the exclamation of the True Lord of Moon-Slicing and Sun-Building: "Why has the lacquer changed color?!"

His freshly painted antlers were shimmering and flashing in the seven colors of a rainbow.

Paimon, munching on a chicken leg, mumbled, "So... this is what you call a 'peaceful solution'?"

The four of them gave a unanimous thumbs-up: "Of course!"

Looking at the coffee machine that was grooming the feathers of Liuyun Jiefeng Zhenjun, and the Lishui Dieshan Zhenjun who was being chased by the maintenance robot to be groomed, Ying suddenly felt very tired.

At that moment, Zhong Li's voice came softly from behind: "In terms of universal reason..."

His gaze fell on the "Backup Energy: Rota Dragon King's Sneeze Power Generation Plan" in the corner of Zhang Chu's blueprints, and he silently crushed the eleventh teacup.

Chapter 28 Daily Life in Liyue

"Hey buddy! Let's have a match!"

D'Artagnan's twin blades gleamed coldly in the sunlight as he performed a backflip and landed on a wooden crate on the dock, his short orange hair fluttering in the sea breeze.

The Winterborn executor has already struck his signature starting pose—if you ignore the Liyue Food Map clipped to his belt and the candied hawthorn skewers peeking out of his back pocket.

Ying's face drooped as she slowly pulled out the Sky Blade, which gleamed with a bluish light: "This is the seventh time today..."

The blade still had the "Strongest Cook" sticker that Er Kang had mischievously put on it that morning.

Paimon, who was munching on a grilled tigerfish nearby, said, "How about we introduce him to those four clowns?"

She pointed into the distance—Qingyu was beating up the ruins guards with the "automatic sparring machine" invented by Zhang Chu, and the machine automatically counted with each punch: "Winning streak: 114514 matches".

Since Ying had never experienced the Fatui's schemes, her attitude towards Tartaglia was quite friendly—she even helped him pick up his wallet when he was knocked away by Nana.

At this moment, she assumed a fighting stance, but deliberately deflected the tip of her sword by three inches: "Let's make it clear first, you have to treat everyone to Wanmintang after this fight."

"no problem!"

D'Artagnan smiled like a child who had just received a new toy.

Of course, he didn't know that in the original story he would do something as foolish as releasing a demon god.

After witnessing firsthand the various bizarre abilities of those four Hilichurls, he worked through the night to rewrite "The Awakening of Osel's Plan" into "Liyue Foodie Guide".

The sparks from clashing swords startled the seagulls that were anchored there.

Tartaglia grew increasingly excited as the fight progressed, his water blades tracing dazzling arcs in the air: "That's awesome! That's it!"

He was completely unaware that his cloak had been shaved into a tassel shape by the sword energy.

In the distance, at a teahouse, Zhongli's teacup suffered another mishap.

Looking at the twelfth cup he had crushed in his hand, he suddenly realized that retirement wasn't so leisurely after all.

"Don't sigh, Mr. Guest."