son-in-law

Chapter 364 Brilliant as the Galaxy (28th Birthday Essay)

Chapter 364 Brilliant as the Galaxy (28th Birthday Essay)

I remember some things from my childhood.

When I was in elementary school, I liked playing table tennis. Later, when I saved money, I pestered my family to buy my first pair of table tennis rackets. I took them to school and played twice. Later, when I went out to play after class, I was caught by two junior high school students or high school students. I snatched it away, and I chased it all the way to get it back. I was beaten on the downhill side of the back gate of the school. When I fell to the ground, my head hit a big rock, and I made a big bag.

I forgot whether I cried at that time.

I still remember the appearance of that big stone. It was by the old back door of the school. Later, a cement road was built on the slope, and the edge of the cement road was about [-] centimeters away from the stone.Now I can still think of the picture of water flowing by the side of the stone when it rains sometimes.

When I was in junior high school, I boarded at the school and studied by myself in the evening.Every night, I would buy a piece of chocolate for [-] cents and eat it. The chocolate was hard and bitter, and then I felt that my mind was very clear.When the evening self-study was about to end, the teacher had already left, and the boys in one of our classes were playing hide-and-seek in the school.At that time, I liked to scare girls. The stairs of the teaching building came out, and there were gardens on both sides of the road, surrounded by short privet trees. When we were about to finish class, we hid behind the privet trees. When we saw someone coming down, we jumped out to scare people.

One night when get out of class was about to end, I sneaked into the garden, and then I saw a friend who was playing well with me come over, and he sneaked to the other side.I think this is really a hero who sees the same thing, and it will be twice as scary later.Then three female students came downstairs, and when they came over, I jumped out with an "ah", and my friend jumped out from there... They collided with each other in the air, and the three female students were stunned for a long time, laughing loudly, We had to run away in despair.

Sometimes I hide in the dark corridors with a flashlight, and when someone walks by, I suddenly turn it on and shine it from the chin.Once, a girl was scared to tears, and we were at a loss, thinking that this is too bad, so we won’t tell the teacher...

When I was in junior high school, I participated in a school-wide art performance and talked about cross talk with a fat man. I wrote the cross talk, and the effect was very good.That fat man didn't rehearse carefully, and he couldn't remember the lines when it was time to perform. In the middle of the performance, he asked me: "What's the next line?" I told him...forgot to move the microphone away from my mouth.Of course, the effect is still very good, at least everyone laughed.

What is the point of writing these things?In fact, there is nothing too complicated, if you really want to say it.I remember the simple mood at that time, such a school and dormitory.Broken windows, carefully written blackboard newspapers, alleys behind the teaching building when cross talk rehearsals, divided sanitary areas, children cleaning with brooms in the morning, old beds in the dormitory, lonely faucets in the courtyard, The snow on the roof of the bulletin board in winter, the sweltering heat and laughter at the beginning of the summer school, the sound of four-wheel drive passing by the empty campus on Saturday... everything is gone in a blink of an eye.

Many times I wonder if I have grasped something, because I have missed too much, but sometimes I tell myself that the memory is finally caught in my mind, and the feeling at that time is even further away, maybe I can still remember many things.I remember the feeling, but forget the characters involved.

Now I like to sit on the bus while listening to music, watching people get up and down, watching the scenery pass by outside, and thinking about their stories.Every time, I can construct countless pictures in my mind, move with the music, everything is vivid, I can see every detail clearly, and it contains certain feelings.This is my strong point, but it is also a lonely game after all. If someone is talking to me next to me, all imaginations will disappear.

Two years ago, I went to Sanya with some friends, and I asked where to go. I said it’s better to take a bus. If you see a car, you can go there. If you want to go to the present, you can go around Sanya. Of course, I didn’t do it. Such a 2B thing.We lived in the hotel, coded during the day, went swimming in the hotel pool in the evening, took a walk on the beach, and then took a taxi to downtown Sanya to eat KFC...the food there was really bland.

So every time I take the bus alone, I wear earphones and try to sit in the back row near the window. What comes with the music is mostly fantasies, and sometimes I see some interesting things.Last year, I once took a bus to Changsha. It was raining, and there was a lot of water in the bus. There were not many people, but the seats in the car were full. It was next to a seat behind the driver’s seat. , Someone probably vomited not long ago, leaving a puddle of vomit next to it, and everyone who came up subconsciously bypassed it.

A young couple, probably under 20 years old, came up, probably college students.The girl kept laughing and talking to the boy, and she didn't notice it when she stepped on the pile of things. Later, the boy stopped at the back near the car door, and the woman sat down on the seat.I don't know when she found the thing under her feet, but I think she must like the boy very much. After a few stops, the boy got off the bus first, and then I got off the car too. I don't know where the girl sat.

I made a girlfriend last year and broke up at the end of the year.This is the first time I've been in love for many years. It may be a little funny. After all, I am 27 and 28 years old. After today, I have entered the No. 20 nine years of my life.After breaking up, I kept thinking whether I was doing something wrong or doing something right.

I always wonder if I am right or wrong.

I probably just came out of high school. When I was in my early 20s, one day I suddenly got the phone number of a female classmate. Of course, I had some contacts and memories before. They were good friends, so I don’t need to go into details.But I haven't contacted her for two years. I called her that day, and suddenly I couldn't calm down. I couldn't sleep that night, and I couldn't calm down when I did anything the next day. I felt my hands were shaking. Then I called her and confessed to her. .

She should have had a boyfriend in college at the time, and the result of the phone call was self-evident, but after the phone call and conversation, she calmed down and had a good night's sleep. Since then, I have complacently referred to it as "the end of youth", Forget it from now on, work hard, and stop thinking about it.

About a year later, one day, she suddenly called and talked to me about life in college. I felt very strange. I asked her what was the matter, and she asked what would you do if I promised you at the beginning. I said that I knew you wouldn't agree from the beginning, so she didn't say anything.

At that time, I voluntarily gave up college because of my family's conditions, but after graduating from high school, I couldn't find a good job. It might not be embarrassing, but it was not a time when I could afford anything.After that phone call, I suddenly felt that night, I am really a bad person, huh, I called to confess my love just to sleep - of course it is not the case, of course I really did like her at that time - never After that, I thought, I shouldn't drag others down or harm others when I can't bear the responsibility, even if it's just emotional fluctuations.So in the next few years, I stopped touching any things that might involve emotions. Although I had such an opportunity, I was suppressed by myself almost when the idea arose.

Until one day, I felt that I had realized what responsibility looked like, so I thought I could start to try it.

But... hehe, these ideas are of course wrong.

In fact, in the final analysis, it was my own too strong sense of self-protection at work. I realized this on the eve of a classmate’s wedding last year. We had dinner together, and when we went in, we saw her again. I said hello, I was stunned for a moment, and said, "This is..." She hasn't changed much. I remember her name and all kinds of memories, but I couldn't recognize her at the time... That day At night I thought: I'm such a fucking sucker.

Presumably, she and her husband will not read my articles. It’s nothing to write these things. Even if you can read them, it’s nothing. It’s just a memory. If possible, I want to say: "I’m sorry."

What I want to say now is that life needs many regrets to be perfect, but it is not like this.Since I was 20 years old, I have been tirelessly trying to avoid regret and avoid harm. If I feel that something may fail in the end, I simply don’t touch it. Now that I think about it, it has become a real regret.If there are young people in their teens and 20s who read my book, I hope everyone will not be like this. If you have happiness, you will seize it, and if you have challenges, you will try it.

After the age of 30, a man should do certain things.This is said in "The Great Master", but that is after the age of 30.

And for me, it is no longer necessary to bring myself back to some kind of "correctness".There used to be many distortions in my personality, which made me feel at a loss and entangled in pain. Now they have been fixed in my body and become a part of me, so I can keep some of myself. Something that feels precious.The outlook on life has been established, and the daze has disappeared.

Because of this, I was able to write a book, so I gained the ability to write a book. Because of this, I can listen to music in the back of the bus, watch the crowd go up and down, and see more and more things. Because of this, I can sit in the noisy KFC In code words, using the people around me as the background, so I can decompose my life more deeply and objectively and gain experience that others have never had.I think if I have lost something, I have gained a lot after all.

Sometimes I think that life may be like a bus, many people will accompany you for a ride, some people will take a longer distance with you, some people will get off at the next stop, and some people will sit far away , Some people are sitting next to you, sooner or later, they will get off, and you will get up at a certain station to reach the finish line.

I sometimes go for a walk.

There is a big lake in the small town where I live now, with good greenery and various facilities. At night, various light strips are turned on, there is music, and sometimes there are cultural performances in the small square.The walking road circles the lake for a week, and there is a big house on the opposite side. The lights are turned on at night, like a villa. When I came here for the first time, I thought: Wow, who can build a villa by this lake? money.It turned out to be a public restroom.

At night, I listened to the music and went around the lake.One night when I came back from the lake, it was a bit late. In front of me was a lonely bus stop, with countless stars in the sky. When I looked up, the surroundings seemed a little empty.The street lights illuminate the road, and vehicles pass by from time to time, and the lights of cars in the distance shine over. On the opposite side is a residential area, and next to it is a quiet, temporarily suspended construction site. But looking back, the lights on the lake are reflected, and the lights of the city are blurred and quiet. There are also pedestrians returning at night in the field of vision.When I thought about the lives they lived, I suddenly thought, there are so many people.

In this city, in this world, there are really so many people, just like the stars in the sky, it is impossible to count them.Everyone has their own life, all kinds of bizarre experiences, just imagining that there are so many people and so many lights is enough to exhaust the brain power.At that time, I suddenly felt that it is really a pity that a person can only live a lifetime.I really want to experience everyone's life...

Later, I thought, although I had never thought about it so clearly before, the reason why I like writing books so much may be because of it.

I am 28 years old.In the process of writing a book, I can simulate many things and moods, and I feel that many things I see are very ordinary, and it is hard to be surprised.One day a friend told me that if there are no surprises or surprises in your life and you can understand everything, wouldn’t it be too boring.I don't know if this is really boring in the eyes of others, but for me, every moment, I experience all kinds of feelings, joy, joy, nostalgia, and sadness.The world can surprise me and calm me every moment.Also that night, I thought, how wonderful it is to be able to see such a grotesque world, with countless lives and countless emotions.

I really want to let everyone know these emotions.

We can only live for a few decades. When we get off this bus one day, there will be countless people on it. non-stop.In such a short moment, if one day I get out of the car, I hope I can tell myself that I have seen many things.

Oh, and... nice to meet you.

(End of this chapter)